Turns out Tea Boy's std test came back positive for HSV 2. Which wasn't a big surprise. He warned me he suspected it would. It was still a hard thing to take in. I felt sad and cheated and irrationally pissed off. But the good part of it is that it has forced me to better educate myself and take my health more seriously. I've learned so much already. Here I thought I was being so safe, but really I was more focused on HIV. I had no idea you could contract HSV even if you were using a condom, and I was only vaguely aware that you could contract it when the infected partner was asymptomatic. And I didn't have a clue that having herpes when you are pregnant can be quite serious, particularly if you have an outbreak during labor (in which case you get an automatic c section).
But Tea Boy has been great. We've been talking a lot and being very careful not to do anything risky until I've made a clear decision about what level of risk I'm willing to accept. If I weren't wanting to get pregnant it would be less of a question since HSV isn't that big a deal save for the social stigma you have to deal with in the dating scene. But it sounds like the majority of the population is already infected anyway - they just don't realize it and probably wouldn't bother to get tested to find out for the sake of their potential partners. God, people are such idiots. I was saddened to learn that Tea Boy had had unprotected sex even after being (knowingly) exposed to HSV. I guess he wasn't really thinking. But it makes me sad that even the ones who are thinking (like myself) sometimes don't think enough (like myself).
Anyhow, do any of you have any experience with this? I would especially love to hear about experiences being pregnant with HSV or just about dealing with dating and HSV. Or if you've struggled with the decision about what level of risk you were willing to accept when having sex with an infected partner.
And, for those of you who don't know, here's a few important facts to know:
You can get herpes even if you are using a condom. You can get herpes even if your partner has NEVER had a symptom (like Tea Boy). HSV 1 and 2 can present either orally or genitally (ie, cold sores either place means it could be either HSV 1 or 2). You can spread HSV 1 and 2 both orally and genitally (ie, you can spread either kind of herpes through oral sex). Lecture portion of this post over.
Oh, by the way, Tea Boy and I are going to the coast this weekend. The beach, a rustic cabin, a fire place, and Tea Boy - what else could a girl ask for? And
then Papi is coming next week and I get him for almost a whole week. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now!
Oh, and furthermore, Diva is coming to the coast with us. Yea for the incredible indestructible mutt!
I don't come here much these days. I'm not sure why. I feel things shifting, like tight little buds straining toward the hard crust of frozen earth. All around me people are blossoming and I hold myself back for fear of what?
