Thursday, December 06, 2007

High-Capacity Player

When I was girl, perhaps of six or so, I would go for walks in the summer rain. Without shoes. I would splash in puddles, the steaming hot concrete melting under my skin thick soles, and luxuriate in the sensation of the water washing over my feet and soaking into the cuffs of my Tough Skins. I was in the street, alone, and alive.

After the rains washed the gutters clean I would wander the allies and sidewalks, running my knuckles along cement walls while I imagined walking and walking and walking until I was far, far away from my childhood. Casting my eyes downward in supplication and submission - which is to say in owning my strength, my instinct for survival - pride and power and perseverance rushed through my veins as I watched my bare feet walk over sharp shards of broken glass and the refuse of humanity without flinching or failing.

And when I read your words my friend, "you're a high-capacity player," that same pride and power and perseverance was reborn in me as the image of my tender toes tripping along the hot summer streets flashed through my mind like the flash floods of my California childhood. Thank you for helping me to remember who I am, and where I come from.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey CP
long time no hear..
just got done catching up on your blog...
hope this finds you doing ok now.
really sorry to hear about diva...
its really hard losing family.
mine was korban dallas.

it did occur to me yesterday that i while i readily form a pack with certain animals...
currently it's an african crow (black with white chest), about 3 cats, 2 miniature pinschers...
i did notice something odd...
i had always thought that in a past life the animals i had formed special bonds with
must have been family members (human variety) at some point
and we had gotten separated and somehow managed to find each other again.
but now i'm not so sure.
i've always known that i wasn't like the other monkeys.
in fact i knew somehow i wasn't human, period, and had never been.
i have always known, being born in the year of the tiger,
that i must be a cat. specifically, a tiger.
it explained why every time i met a new cat, it was like looking into a mirror.
for both of us. i had obviously been a cat, was a cat, and would most likely continue
to be so for any number of future lives to come.
which is when i figured it out.
my animal friends weren't former family-type humans.
we had all been part of the same pack.
and they had come back to hunt together with us again.
so i guess its true what they say about love transcending death.
they never really go away if your bond is strong enough.
they're just waiting until they can come back and be with you again.
i don't know if this helps any, cp, but you know...

its snowing to beat the band right now.
i'm in duvall, wash.,currently (i moved for a little while, hopefullly not for too long).
i do have a myspace now - http://www.myspace.com/firekitty420
and i still have a livejournal - http://www.livejournal.com/users/firekitty420

take it easy, lady.
and have a good nite.

frank

January 14, 2008 4:42 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

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November 08, 2008 7:26 AM  
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