Why Is That?
A couple of weeks ago I got a nasty nasty spider bite on my ankle. I can go for a day or two not itching it, but every time I scratch it just a smidge it flares up into this raging horrid thing that itches like a mutherfuckingbitch. Why is that?
I've gone for years... yes, YEARS... without any sexual contact other than my hand (this was before Wanda came into my life) and I swear I didn't miss sex one iota. Now... well, you've seen me. I'm climbing the walls here people. Tell me, why is that?
So last night I posted an ad on Craiglist. Two ads actually. You gotta get creative when you're bi. I usually scan the ads on occasion but I think I'm gonna give up on that. Honestly, they depress me no end. It seems 99.9% of the ads are looking for the same thing: a thin woman. Petite. Fit. HWP. Slender. Thin. Svelt. Athletic. Inevitably there's some code for not fat. I might be everything else they want - smart, submissive, employed, childless, disease free, fun loving, poly, ethical... you name it - but the bottom line is am I thin?
It drives me nuts because I'm not even all that fat anymore. At a size 16 I feel pretty average really (I used to be a 28 or something... I stopped counting because they stopped making clothes in my size even at the plus size store), which makes it crazy because then all the people who want the fat girls don't want me either because I'm not fat enough.
Really, I don't want to fuck anyone who wants to fuck me simply because of my body type. I don't want to be someone's fetish. I know this girl who is a quadriplegic and guys are always hitting on her. She and I have talked about this conundrum - where is the line between disturbing fetish that doesn't see the whole person and just some bloke who happens to like a girl who has no arms or legs? She met a guy recently and when she asked him straight up "are you a perv for cripples like me?" his response seemed pretty much as honest as you can get. "I like you, and you don't have any arms or legs." So, what's a girl to do?
So, my ad just put it out there that I'm chubby and subby and all that. Actually, I almost always try and put it out there just to head things off at the pass. The problem is, then I get all the chubby chasers... and I've already told you the inherent problems there. One guy replied to my ad that he thought I sounded great and then sent another post moments late that said "just how fat are you?" Well, my mama taught me to return all correspondences so I wrote back "If you have to ask, I'm probably too fat or not fat enough for you."
Anyway. Some of the people who responded seem decent enough. The thing is I'm just so tired of the dating thing. Granted, I don't have years and years of dating behind me, so I shouldn't be burning out just yet, but it is just so exhausting. Don't get me wrong. I like meeting new folks and I've met some great people through on-line dating. Afterall, I met Mr. D, Prince(ss), Rob and Spanky through the internet. But in my heart of hearts I'm ready to snuggle in, you know?
I've gone for years... yes, YEARS... without any sexual contact other than my hand (this was before Wanda came into my life) and I swear I didn't miss sex one iota. Now... well, you've seen me. I'm climbing the walls here people. Tell me, why is that?
So last night I posted an ad on Craiglist. Two ads actually. You gotta get creative when you're bi. I usually scan the ads on occasion but I think I'm gonna give up on that. Honestly, they depress me no end. It seems 99.9% of the ads are looking for the same thing: a thin woman. Petite. Fit. HWP. Slender. Thin. Svelt. Athletic. Inevitably there's some code for not fat. I might be everything else they want - smart, submissive, employed, childless, disease free, fun loving, poly, ethical... you name it - but the bottom line is am I thin?
It drives me nuts because I'm not even all that fat anymore. At a size 16 I feel pretty average really (I used to be a 28 or something... I stopped counting because they stopped making clothes in my size even at the plus size store), which makes it crazy because then all the people who want the fat girls don't want me either because I'm not fat enough.
Really, I don't want to fuck anyone who wants to fuck me simply because of my body type. I don't want to be someone's fetish. I know this girl who is a quadriplegic and guys are always hitting on her. She and I have talked about this conundrum - where is the line between disturbing fetish that doesn't see the whole person and just some bloke who happens to like a girl who has no arms or legs? She met a guy recently and when she asked him straight up "are you a perv for cripples like me?" his response seemed pretty much as honest as you can get. "I like you, and you don't have any arms or legs." So, what's a girl to do?
So, my ad just put it out there that I'm chubby and subby and all that. Actually, I almost always try and put it out there just to head things off at the pass. The problem is, then I get all the chubby chasers... and I've already told you the inherent problems there. One guy replied to my ad that he thought I sounded great and then sent another post moments late that said "just how fat are you?" Well, my mama taught me to return all correspondences so I wrote back "If you have to ask, I'm probably too fat or not fat enough for you."
Anyway. Some of the people who responded seem decent enough. The thing is I'm just so tired of the dating thing. Granted, I don't have years and years of dating behind me, so I shouldn't be burning out just yet, but it is just so exhausting. Don't get me wrong. I like meeting new folks and I've met some great people through on-line dating. Afterall, I met Mr. D, Prince(ss), Rob and Spanky through the internet. But in my heart of hearts I'm ready to snuggle in, you know?
posted by Curious Pussy at Wednesday, July 13, 2005
2 Comments:
I'm not one of those guys that wants a certain size girl: it is just that all other things being equal, I'd prefer a 14 or a 20 over a 2. A lot of women have a complex about being a 16. To me, 16 is typical and just about perfect. The real women should be large and proud. While a lot of guys might idealize the thin girls, respectable numbers of us prefer something more (but not something fetish). Finding the right guy or gal is incredibly hard but a lot of us have a preference for something womanly.
Well, I agree Machido. I think a womanly figure is just about the most beautiful thing there is. I too am attracted to plumper girls myself. The funny thing is how I find myself attracted to bigger girls and yet still struggle with being one. Go figure.
Harry, I've actually had pretty good luck with Craigslist. Although I've only met one woman through there. Women are harder to meet in general. And I've heard tell that if you are a guy it is almost near impossible via Craigslist.
I usually place an ad on women for men and another on women for women. I swear for every one response I get on wfw I get 10 - 20 on wfm!
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