I Am An Island
Anyone else ever terrified by their own longings? I used to think of myself as a completely self sufficient person... I never allowed myself the luxury of needing anyone or anything. That old Dylan song with the "I am a rock" refrain described me to a T. But these days I just feel so lost and lonely and in need of companionship. Maybe it stems from the prospect of having and raising a child by myself. Maybe it stems from the reality that I am nearing 40 and I'm still basically single. Maybe it stems from being flooded by years and years of repressed desires and longings. Whatever it is, it sucks. I feel so lonely and fragile and afraid.
posted by Curious Pussy at Tuesday, July 05, 2005
2 Comments:
hugs
Little Boy Blue ran and ran, dodging
The big barky trees that flew by,
Scratching and Snagging at him,
Tearing bits and pieces of him away.
Tis the wounded one, who bleeds pain
Like tears from ducts overflowing.
The red blood seeps between clutched
Fingers, as he runs.
Thoughts and wishes and fear pass through
Blue's red head, dreams of no feeling,
Wishes of no running, and fears of being
Caught by himself.
Little Boy Blue chases himself in circles,
Pleading with himself to stop running,
Arguing centripital and fearful forces.
The answer dances endlessly at the end
End of his tail, endlessly grabbing it.
And afraid of nothing else in the world,
Except that Blue is right, and the world
Is running after its own tail.
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