The Queer World
TwiddlyBits asked...
"Was this your first time with a man in a skirt (or any feminine attire)? Do tell us more!"
So I figured I might as well share the response with the rest of you since T. Bits probably isn't the only one wondering.
Yes, Prince was the first male bodied person in a skirt that I've slept with. And even though I've used male pronouns to refer to Prince, it was only due to the limitations of the english language and a desire to have you be able to track the story. In truth Prince identifies as genderqueer and had told me so on our first date. But I never pushed Prince to define what that meant. I knew s/he would tell me when s/he was ready.
While Prince was my first genderqueer lover - remember, up until Rob I had only had 3.5 lovers in my life - the reality is I have lots of qenderqueer and transgender people in my life. I am queer identified myself and I live and work in the queer world. Not the gay world. Not the lesbian world. The queer world. And for those of you who don't know the difference, well, that's why I hadn't bothered to mention it before now.
But one of the things that endeared Prince to me is that s/he lived entirely in the straight world, even though s/he identified as bi and genderqueer. And I don't mean straight only in the sexual sense. Sure, s/he knew enough about my world to use the term genderqueer... but the reality was that in 44 years no one had ever loved zer for who s/he was, not in spite of it.
Honestly, these days when I talk to Prince or mention zer to someone else I use male and female pronouns interchangeably (as well as gender neutral terms like "zer" and "ze"). Although I tend to lean towards the feminine ones. I know she is thirsty for them. And I want her to know she truly is my princess. So, from here on out I will use he and she interchangeably for her.
So, that's that. Now. To explain the bit about how I became the frog is much more complicated.
"Was this your first time with a man in a skirt (or any feminine attire)? Do tell us more!"
So I figured I might as well share the response with the rest of you since T. Bits probably isn't the only one wondering.
Yes, Prince was the first male bodied person in a skirt that I've slept with. And even though I've used male pronouns to refer to Prince, it was only due to the limitations of the english language and a desire to have you be able to track the story. In truth Prince identifies as genderqueer and had told me so on our first date. But I never pushed Prince to define what that meant. I knew s/he would tell me when s/he was ready.
While Prince was my first genderqueer lover - remember, up until Rob I had only had 3.5 lovers in my life - the reality is I have lots of qenderqueer and transgender people in my life. I am queer identified myself and I live and work in the queer world. Not the gay world. Not the lesbian world. The queer world. And for those of you who don't know the difference, well, that's why I hadn't bothered to mention it before now.
But one of the things that endeared Prince to me is that s/he lived entirely in the straight world, even though s/he identified as bi and genderqueer. And I don't mean straight only in the sexual sense. Sure, s/he knew enough about my world to use the term genderqueer... but the reality was that in 44 years no one had ever loved zer for who s/he was, not in spite of it.
Honestly, these days when I talk to Prince or mention zer to someone else I use male and female pronouns interchangeably (as well as gender neutral terms like "zer" and "ze"). Although I tend to lean towards the feminine ones. I know she is thirsty for them. And I want her to know she truly is my princess. So, from here on out I will use he and she interchangeably for her.
So, that's that. Now. To explain the bit about how I became the frog is much more complicated.
posted by Curious Pussy at Sunday, June 05, 2005
4 Comments:
I don't know if I would be comfortable in a skirt. I bet it would be nice in the summer time heat hehehe
Well, you know what they say: try it, you might like it!
c.p.
> I live and work in the queer world. Not the gay world. Not the lesbian world. The queer world. And for those of you who don't know the difference, well, that's why I hadn't bothered to mention it before now.
I'd be interested in hearing you talk about this - what do you feel the difference is, etc?
Great post, btw, thank you!
You know me wwell enough by now to know I hate all the labels.
That said, what a shocking and honest post. I think you're awesome and look forward to more
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