That Lunar Lady

It never ceases to amaze me how the moon exerts control over my emotions and libido. I swear I looked at the moon last night and she looked less than half full. I was confused because I was weepy and horny, always a sure sign of a full moon. Then tonight I look up and sure enough it looks like she is just one hair's breadth away from full. That lunar lady does it to me every time and I'll never understand how. I suppose since the moon controls our tides, and our bodies are made up of mostly water, it stands to reason she controls my tides as well.

When Mr. D and I were, uh, friendly I would leave my back door unlocked on full moon nights. He would sneak around the back of the building by the light of the moon and come in after I had gone to bed. I would wake up to the sound of him shushing the dog and tip toeing into my bedroom. He would say something about how I should be careful leaving my back door open like that because some strange man could come in and have his way with me just before he would have his way with me.