That First Crimson Drop of Blood

Damn. I just started bleeding. Ah well. It just wasn't meant to be right now, right? The consolation prize? I get to see my papi next weekend for one precious night. And, knowing that I'm not pregnant means he can do dern near pretty much whatever the fuck he wants with me and I won't mind one tiny bit. He's quite the sadist when free reign is given.

Damn. I knew deep down I wasn't pregnant. But when I saw that first crimson drop of blood I still burst into tears. I guess that's what floods out when you release the dam that was stubbornly harboring hope.